It’s chemistry, undeniable chemistry.
yet dauntingly scary.
It’s secret glances,
the kind you hope he doesn’t notice,
the kind you secretly wish he gives you
when you’re turned away, not looking.
It’s laughter, unbridled laughter.
It’s inside jokes and stupid grins.
It’s making each other ridiculously happy
but not knowing if you make him as happy
as much as he makes you.
It’s daydreaming in class,
smiling to yourself and forgetting the lecture,
forgetting you have essays
and projects and tests.
It’s then realizing you’re in too deep,
and reality hits.
You don’t know where you stand.
It’s tiptoeing around him,
not wanting to seem too excited,
not wanting to smile too wide,
not wanting to bother him,
not wanting to give it away,
to scare him away
and ruin what you have.
It’s sitting up at night overthinking
everything he says and does.
You’re unsure of anything . . .
unsure of everything.
It’s seeing the other girls around you,
seeing how just as easily they can make him smile,
seeing how pretty they are,
how smart they are,
how funny they are,
seeing how insignificant you are,
seeing that you’re nothing special.
It’s thinking he’ll never see you that way.
It’s being sure, just so sure that
you’re only a friend, maybe one of the guys
if you’re lucky.
It’s wanting to give up,
wanting to save your heart from getting hurt.
It’s constantly thinking about how good you are
but never knowing if he feels the same way.
It’s chemistry, undeniable chemistry,
and it’s heartbreaking.
**Find the featured image here.